My Son
by The Almighty Ro
Summary: What Kyo's mother really thought about him. Did you know your mother loved you, Kyo? I guess not. REDONE!
1. Did You Know?

Dicalimer: I do not own, claim to own, or pretend to own the characters involved in this tragic work of fiction. Even if I do want to reach in a fix this situation…

Enjoy, su!

"_It's all right...I love you little one."_

"_I won't let anyone see you."_

"_No one look…"_

"_Don't look…"_

"_I don't want you to see…"_

"…_**my child…"**_

**Did You Know?**

Does he know? Does he know how much I truly love him? Kyo, do you honestly think I can't stand the sight of you? I know…I realize I don't look you in the eye, that I always, constantly check your beads. But did you know I'm trying to protect you? I don't want you hurt…for you to feel the pain of the world. To be scorned.

I'm not doing a very good job am I?

Akito, he…he doesn't understand. Yes he's the closest thing to a god the Zodiac has, but he doesn't know what it's like to be the cat. What it's like to be the cat's mother…

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. You know I love you; I could never hate you. I could never…

*

"_It's disgusting."_

"_This is Kyo's true form?"_

"_His body's all warped and ugly."_

"_And what's that smell? He smells terrible."_

"_Is this…"_

"…_the cat spirit's…"_

"…_true form?"_

"_It's disgusting."_

*

Did you know I'm afraid? It's true. I'm afraid of you, of what you turn into, what could happen when you look like that. I'm afraid of what would happen if someone were to remove those beads, those beads made of bone and blood…Would they run from you? Would they stay? Or would they completely reject you? God knows how many times that thought has run trough my mind. Yes, I have thought of it, asking Hatori to erase my memories, but I don't want you to hate me. I don't want…

But you _do_ hate me, don't you?

You hate me because I'm forcing my one-sided love on you. I don't want you to be lonely, but I don't want you to hate me. What can I do? What do you want me to do?

I-I couldn't tell you that I'm afraid, no, I could never do that. Because then you would really start to hate me.

*

"_Kyo...what's wrong?"_

"_Did something happen again?"_

"_Did Akito say something?"_

"_It's all right."_

"_Mommy loves you."_

*

You can't see it, can you? How much I love you. I can see it now, as I make sure you're wearing your beads. I watch as you look away, wanting with all your might to flinch away from me, but using all your will to stay still.

To make it through this daily routine.

I want to smile at how stubborn you are, but it makes me sad. How can you not see how your indifference is affecting me? Do you really hate me that much?

You know it's during these times that I'm able to look at you fully. I see you orange tint in your hair, wondering if it'll by the time you're a teenager, and your large red eyes. You'll be handsome enough to rival Yuki when you two are older, do you know that?

I'll let you go out today; you'll want to play with Kagura. She really likes you, doesn't she?

*

"_Akito's wrong. You are human, like everyone else."_

"_You're just under an evil spell for a little while that makes you turn into that."_

"_As proof, look…"_

"_You changed right back."_

*

It was true when I said that that day. You are under an evil spell for a while; you are human, just like everyone else. One day, you'll find someone who will realize that, who will see your ugliness and embrace it. Who, though afraid, will refuse to leave you. Unlike Kagura. Unlike me…

*

"_It's all right."_

"_I'm not scared a bit."_

"_You're my son and I'm so proud of you."_

"_You're so cute, I won't let any one else see you."_

*

I'm not scared any more; not one bit. I wish I could keep people from seeing you, seeing you in that form, but I can't. I wish I could have kept you safe, kept them from hurting you like everyone else. Like Kagura; like Akito; like Yuki; like me…

*

"_No, I __**love**__ you."_

"_If it would help, your mother..."_

"_...would __**die **__for you."_

*

Kyo, please be happy, wherever this life will lead you. Don't let my mistakes be the bane of your existence, of your decisions from now on. Just because you were the cat doesn't mean you should suffer, that you should be alone, that you are worthless and a burden to others. I loved you Kyo, loved you like I always told you, though it was always portrayed poorly. Don't listen to Yuki, or Akito, or your father, as I know he will be just as harsh as our family head, but listen to those who love you, who cherish you, who want to be together always. And I'll support you and remain proud of you no matter what, because I love you Kyo.

I love you…

_**There was a gun shot and a young woman crumpled to the floor, her blood pooling around her still form from the wound in her head. Her blood was red, red like the eyes of the child she had brought into this world, like the eyes of the boy she had tried to raise with all the might she had, like the eyes of the boy she had tried to protect from the harshness of the world. It was red; red like the eyes of an angry cat who felt she had no right to love him.**_

"_Did you know your mother loved you Kyo? No, I guess not."_

**Fin**

As promised, a revamp of the story. Although I know it doesn't look much different from before (after all, the core is still the same), I took the liberty of fixing a few sentences and adding some things to make it flow smoother. Does seem a bit better then the last time you guys read it? Huh? Anyways, I'm redoing chapter two too, so check that out next to see if there's any difference. See you soon!

**Reviews save lives. Because without reviews, your favorite authors would shrivel up and die.**


	2. Guess Not

Disclaimer: I do not own, claim to own, or pretend to own the characters involved in this tragic work of fiction. Even though all I want to do is hold Kyo and tell him it's all right.

Enjoy, su!

"_Normally…people would avoid me…"_

"_Keep their distance…"_

"_So why do you care about me so much anyway?"_

**I Guess Not**

Kyo blinked at Tohru before her words finally sunk in. His crimson eyes narrowed almost dangerously.

"What did you just say?" he asked her, tone low so that she had to strain to hear. He had never used this tone with her before.

Tohru flinched at his voice. "Ah-um, I was just wondering what kind of person your mother was. Y-you don't really talk about her much, and I'd heard stories…" she stuttered, her gaze not meeting his as she trailed off.

The cat's fist clinched, fighting to keep from going off on her. Of course she had heard stories; who the hell hadn't?! Slowly, he began to count backwards, the distraction taking some of the edge off his anger. Turning around sharply so she wouldn't see his face, he began to storm off. "It's none of your business," he hissed loud enough for her to hear.

She watched him go sadly. "Kyo-kun…"

~*~

"_She saw me…"_

"_She saw me…"_

"_She saw me…"_

"_It's over!"_

"_It's over. Everything…"_

"_It's all…"_

"…_hopeless."_

*

Why would she ask something like that? Shouldn't it be obvious? My mother hated me, she was ashamed of me. She never wanted me, wished I had never been born. It's just like it was with Momiji, except it was worse. My mother actually _pretended_ she loved me. _Pretended _my being a member of the zodiac didn't bother her, thinking it would make me happy and she could forget. She never did.

Because I'm not a member of the zodiac; I'm just the stupid cat, like Yuki said.

*

"_It's his fault! It's all his fault!"_

"_I'll kill him then I'll kill myself!"_

"_Then you'll be satisfied, right?"_

"_If I die too, you'll be satisfied, right?!"_

*

I wonder what she would have said if she'd heard me say that. Would she have been disappointed? Would she have been happy? Or maybe she wouldn't have cared anyway…

I remember, once, when she was checking my beads, I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. I nearly fell back when I saw her looking at me, her eyes looking real sad. I don't remember her looking like that before, like she wanted to cry and give up. Why would she look like that?

Was it me?

*

"_You really __**were**__ scared weren't you?"_

"_That's why every day, dozens of times…"_

"_You checked to make sure my beads hadn't come off, right?"_

"_You were ashamed weren't you?"_

*

It was after that… that I started watching her. She never knew I was watching her watch me; she couldn't tell I was anyway, since I always hid it well. It kept me up at night sometimes, wondering why she would look at me like that. Like she actually cared.

*

"_You won't even acknowledge the __**real**__ me…"_

"…_so why are you always acting like you love me so much?"_

*

Why **did** you act like you loved me so much? It's not like it would have mattered; you could have rejected me and it wouldn't have made a difference. You would have lived longer, _a lot_ longer. So why keep me? After all, all I did was cause you pain.

*

"_Your mother loved you more than anyone!"_

*

That's not it; he only acted like she did because she thought that's what a mother should do. Because she thought it would make me happy, to think that I was accepted by at least one person. I'm sorry mom, but you were a terrible actor.

Did my mother love me? No, of course not.

~*~

Tohru walked into Shigure's office with her head hung low and clutching a worn leather book in her hands, one that looked older than several years.

"Ah Tohru, how did it go?" the dog asked, not looking up from the manuscript he was typing. "Did you get an answer?"

She let out a huge sigh, causing Shigure to look up curiously. "No, he stormed off before I could ask anything else," she told him tiredly.

"What did you expect? Kyo's mother has always been a sore spot with him," he said, taking his glasses off. His dark eyes darted to the worn book in her hands. "Are you finished reading that?"

Tohru looked a bit surprised before regaining her bearings. "Ah-um, yes, if you could, please return this to Hatori. He probably wants it back now," she murmured, handing it to him.

"I'm sure it made for some interesting reading," Shigure replied, taking it from her. "The journal of the mother of the cat, I mean. What did you think?"

The brunette looked down, a sad look in her blue eyes. "Kyo's mother's journal was very…sad. I wish he knew how she really felt."

"Perhaps it would be best if he didn't. What would he do if all he has known was suddenly swept away?" he suggested knowingly.

Tohru nodded before turning to leave. "I'm going to go make dinner," she said before closing the door behind her.

Shigure gave the door an understanding smile before going back to working on his manuscript. "Although, I think he probably would have appreciated the truth, too."

Outside, Tohru sniffled and wiped at the tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes. Looking up at the ceiling, she imagined she could see Kyo through the wood hunched over trying to understand where her question had come from. She could almost see him sitting with his head in his knees like a lost child, trying to answer it, to see if his anger toward his mother was justified.

'_Did you know your mother loved you Kyo? I guess not…'_

**Fin**

A redone chapter two, as promised! Again, I know it doesn't look like much of a difference, but if you look closely, it's the little things that make it better. Like Tohru's new question (the old one never really did sit well with me) and some of the things Kyo thinks about... Anyways, as some of you might remember, I wrote this back when there were still about six books of Fruits Basket out. Yes, I know, it was a while ago, but because if that, I now propose this: a possible third chapter in which we either have Kyo stumble across the journal, have him make peace with his mother after finding out that it was his father that drove her to suicide, or have it from daddy dearest's point of view. I'm not saying to hold your breath or anything for this possible addition (I still need to go through my other fics and fix them, plus update and rename Rose Colored Moon and Wish Shop), but once I figure out how to make a poll (yes, I am quite the special one, I know) I will begin asking. Until then, tell me what you think via review. See you soon!

**Reviews save lives. Especially if you're like Shigure's editor, who won't find out until it's almost too late that that manuscript of his was already done.**


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